I guess you could call me a “horse trader.” But I am not so much a trader as I am one who always looks for deals. I have often thought if God had not called me to be a pastor, I would have enjoyed being a “buyer” for a company. In that career, the danger with getting the deal is that we can miss that God is the source of every blessing in our lives.
Typing that last paragraph, I was reminded of James’ words: “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” (James 1:17). Not all deal-seekers are the same…some are more intense than others. But what all of us can loose sight of, not just the deal hounds, is that God is the source of every blessing in our lives.
This morning in my devotional reading I was reminded of this truth once again. I read the account from Genesis 13 of the conflict between Abram’s and Lot’s herdsmen over the limited land resources. What stood out to me was how Abram handled the strife with humility and dependence upon the Lord.
It is common in negotiations to seek the best deal. The problem is that both parties are striving for the same result. Abram had an even greater challenge as the tension involved family. Let’s look at three principles that stand out in the Biblical account concerning resolving conflict.
First, Abram took the initiative to resolve the issue. It is not hard to imagine the development of this conflict over time. Both Abram and Lot would have been aware of the situation. I am sure that both sides saw that this was not heading in a good direction. It was Abram that stepped forward to address the issue.
Second, Abram was willing to accept loss in the deal to maintain the family relationship, which was of greater value. There is truth to the saying, “when one side wins, everyone loses.” The decision was made to separate their flocks and families. “Is not the whole land before you? Separate yourself from me. If you take the left hand, then I will go to the right, or if you take the right hand, then I will go to the left.””(Genesis 13:9). Abram was willing to take the loss by letting Lot chose his portion of the land first.
Third, Abram knew the source of his blessing! I am reminded of kids sharing a sandwich using the rule that one kid cuts the sandwich and the other chooses first. The one that chooses the portion almost always picks the larger half. Lot did the same thing by choosing the best land (from His perspective). But Abram knew that the Lord was the source of his blessing! We read, “The Lord said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, “Lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward,” (Genesis 13:14).
This is one of several instances in the Bible of winning by losing. Yes, Abram who was the elder gave up his right to choose first. He also lost what appeared to be the best choice of land. But in the end he won by addressing the issue, by saving the family relationship and finally, by receiving God’s blessing!
Now, every conflict is different. This situation was not necessarily a matter of right and wrong. But the above three principles can help us when being faced with a win/lose situation because we know that “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights!”
-Pastor Joe Parkinson