It would be beneficial to hear ourselves talk. We may realize things about ourselves if we could hear our clone speaking and acting the way we do. If you have ever tried to evaluate yourself honestly, you know how hard it is to accomplish. What I think we might see are areas that we hate about our lives or ourselves.
I am not a person who thinks about “hating my life”! But my recent reading in Ecclesiastes has caused me to think of what I might be communicating through my actions and attitude. My Bible reading plan has me reading Ecclesiastes several times a year. I have come to enjoy and profit from my time engaging in this portion of God’s word. Yes, I need some help with understanding some portions, but in this chapter Solomon pretty clearly addresses issues that we all struggle with related to the meaning of life.
Recently, I was struck by his declaration: “So I hated life, because what is done under the sun was grievous to me, for all is vanity and a striving after wind.” (Ecclesiastes 2:17). The sad reality is if anyone should have enjoyed life, it would have been King Solomon. He begins that chapter by revealing his desire to find “enjoyment” in life. He then goes on to list his extensive focus on building great things like houses, gardens, and pools. He focused on the acquisition of slaves, extensive herds and flocks, along with significant amounts of silver, gold and other “treasures of kings”, and even a harem. Solomon spent an incredible amount of time, energy and resources to get to the bottom of genuine happiness. Think of his personal investments in building the Temple, his own Palace and additional buildings, like the palace for his wife, Pharaoh’s Daughter. Think of all the years and more likely decades he spent to accomplish all these things. His achievements exceeded that of all the previous kings of Israel.
Why then does he speak disparagingly of this investment of his life? He won the lottery of life, yet he concludes with: “So I hated my life.” All of the pursuits that he thought would help him unpack the meaning of life were a dead-end cliff. The ultimate results became a burden. He continues, “because what is done under the sun was grievous to me, for all is vanity and a striving after wind.” What struck me was he pursed all the things that we often pursue to find fulfillment in life, stuff and more stuff. Instead of bringing pleasure and enjoyment these endeavors resulted in resentment.
Solomon’s conclusion (which he repeats frequently) is variation of, enjoy your real life because it is God’s gift to you. “For to the one who pleases him God has given wisdom and knowledge and joy, but to the sinner he has given the business of gathering and collecting, only to give to one who pleases God. This also is vanity and a striving after wind.” (Ecclesiastes 2:26).
I do enjoy God’s blessing in my life in many ways. However, I wonder if I were to evaluate the “words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart” I might hear myself saying: “So I hated my life.” Could it be that my pursuit of pleasure and enjoyment is a Band-Aid for my lacking relationship with the Lord?
Jesus also reminds us that true pleasure and enjoyment is the product of a growing relationship with the Lord. “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” (John 15:10–11).
-Pastor Joe Parkinson